Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
