TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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