How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize