and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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