Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
