At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
