in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
