We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
