your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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