if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
