Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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