is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And my parents said I crawled through the house
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
