I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
