I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
