nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There's even glitter on my cock...
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