I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
