Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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