I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
