I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
