dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
