you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
