North Korea, Best Korea!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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