Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
