im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
