I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
