i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize