im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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