epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
