Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
