It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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