New invention idea: vibrating tampons
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
