Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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