I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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