She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
