Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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