I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
