Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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