i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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