Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
