I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
