did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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