Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
