I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
