We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
