all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I still have a little drunk in my system
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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