Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize