youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
