i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i was born a porn star she said
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
