we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
