North Korea, Best Korea!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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