just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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