If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
