definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize