I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
