3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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