Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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