WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
