the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize