Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
