Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
