I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
